Why I’m Choosing To Love My Body As-Is

The truth is that I spent over a decade working to lose weight through eating healthy and exercising. The surprise was that even after all of that, I still found myself quickly turning my head away every morning when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

How could that even be? I mean seriously. You’d think that I’d have just been happy not to be 336 pounds anymore. But let me tell you, friend, there was still a lot to overcome, and I don’t just mean things you see when you look in the mirror.

We’re talking: Words.

The past words from my peers who relentlessly laughed, teased, or “gently” reminded me that if I wanted to badly enough, I could lost the weight. I could write a thousand stories about those awful experiences that span all the way back to Kindergarten! I know – awful! How can kids (and grown-ups) be so mean?! And when you’ve heard a million times that your’e disgusting because you’re fat, it takes some serious time and effort to erase that dialogue from constantly replaying in your brain.

One day I finally realized that seeing my body in the mirror and hating it, was not acceptable. Not for this girl. After all, I’m not critical of any one else’s body. Why should I loathe my own so much? I was strapped to the scale, letting every number fluctuation (or lack thereof) dictate the entire mood of my day. And no matter how many people said, “you’re looking great, Jen!” …I did not believe it.

So here’s what I know:

1. I’ve Come A Long Way

I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I’m a loooonnnggggg way from where I was. I am a different person now, both inwardly and outwardly. I have lost a ton of weight, but even if I hadn’t, there is more to celebrate than just that. I am stronger than I’ve ever been. I’m more confident. I have more energy. I’m more educated about fueling my body appropriately. And if I just take a few moments to think about it, I can see the drastic changes as well as the baby steps of progress. Both are worthy of celebration.

 2. My Value Is Not Determined By My Size

This is one that has been a light-bulb moment of sorts. During a season that I was feeling really down about myself, I started thinking about the people in my life. The friends, the family, the folks at church, etc… I was actually sitting down writing a blog post one night when I realized that people probably do not care about my body as much as I think they do. I was holding onto this never-achievable picture of what my “perfect” body should look like, and every day that I wasn’t that, I felt completely defeated.

But let me tell ya something. I certainly am not sitting around critiquing anyone else’s body. Ever. And I’m pretty sure that most people aren’t critiquing mine (well, mine maybe because I have a weight journey and body positivity platform – but most people, are not). If they are looking at my body, they’re probably not looking in disgust. And if they are, I really don’t want to be friends with them anyway. And if that’s the case, I really shouldn’t care what the heck they think! You see what I’m getting at here?

I know, it’s easier said than done. But seriously, take the pressure off of yourself. No one is expecting you to be supermodel skinny! Plus, everything is in style these days: thick, thin, curvy, tall, short, medium, blonde, brunette, whatEVER. Just be confident in YOU (and your uniqueness) and you’ll attract your tribe.

3. I Will Always Have Health Goals And That Is OK! 

Because we’ll never (EVER) arrive. No matter how much progress I make, there are new goals to set because good health is not a final destination. It is an ongoing journey. So if I’m waiting until I reach “the goal” (whatever that is today), to love myself and my body, then SPOILER ALERT: I’LL NEVER START LOVING MYSELF AND MY BODY! That is why I finally determined to love myself today, just as I am today. 

4. Loving My Body Is A Choice

Yes. I totally had to choose to love my body. This is where the hard part came in. Because I was so used to looking in the mirror and picking out my flaws, or working toward losing another 5 pounds, or creating a new meal plan, or whatEVER. Finally I realized I was taking all the love out of the picture and replacing it with plans, restrictions, and rules.

The day I started to love my body, I literally had to make a conscious choice to do so. I looked exactly the same in the mirror, as I did the day before. But I knew if I didn’t choose to love myself, then I wouldn’t. So as excruciating as it was, I literally looked at myself in the mirror, GRABBED that negative thought that flew into my brain, and replaced it with, “no, actually I love that about myself”

It didn’t happen overnight, but within a week or so, I started to see progress in the way I saw my body. It takes time. It’s a process. But it is absolutely worth it.

5. When I Love ME, I Can Spread More Love

If you’ve been following me for a while now, you may have noticed how much I’ve talked about this very topic over the last year or so. That’s because I myself have learned (and am learning) to love me. And as I do, I am able to spread encouragement and inspiration to the people around me. So that’s what I do.

When we’re not so consumed with striving for some perfect body, and we truly learn to love ourselves exactly as we are today, we can make such a big impact in the lives of the people around us. And I don’t just mean if you’re a blogger or instagrammer like me. I’m talking about being able to love your family more, to smile with them more, to laugh more, and to be overall less-stressed.

There is so much pressure for us to achieve more, do more, be more, look better, be skinnier, and accomplish more. But the truth of the matter is that no matter what we do, how perfect we look, or how superior our social media feed looks, that does not define our worth. When we finally realize that who we are today, is enough, we can learn and grow and make progress more effectively so that we can meet our goals in healthy ways.

* * *

You. Are. Enough. Today, just as you are. Without achieving one more thing. Without losing one more pound. Without posting one more perfect picture. Without changing one more thing about yourself. You are enough. You are incredible. And you have something wonderful to share with the people around you.

Make a choice to start believing the best about yourself, today.

UPDATE: My journey is ever-evolving! Please head HERE for newer content on this topic and grab my latest book entitled Your Good Body!