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In my best Destiny’s Child voice, “my body’s too BABYlicious for ya, babe…”
Babylicious: whatever changes, curves, droops or shifts that take place after having a child.
When I talk about this topic I can’t help but to be joyful about it. I know it can make us cringe when someone talks about our changing bodies, especially after having a baby, but it’s time to drop the pressure we have allowed society to put on us to “bounce right back”. Some mamas do, and some just don’t. As for me there were a lot of things bouncing, but all of those things were still happily attached to my body. I have had some crazy defeating moments as I’ve evaluated and critiqued my new mom-bod in the mirror.
I can vividly recall looking at myself in the mirror in a dressing room at seven months pregnant and wondering what in the world was happening to my body. I had always wanted to have a summer baby so I could rock a perfect pregnant belly in a bikini. Well finally, there I was, living my dream in the heat of a midwest summer, only in my dream I didn’t recall my belly having stretch marks.
It was in that moment that I had a choice to make. Yes there were tears. But I had to choose whether I was going to let this beautiful human-growing season in my life be ruined, or if I was going to choose joy in this incredible process and rock the bikini anyway.
So… I rocked it. Stretch marks and all. And when I released that pressure I felt absolutely beautiful.
More Body Changes
Then another little-known-about side affect of pregnancy popped up in the mirror and threw me for a loop. Melasma, which is also affectionately known as “the pregnancy mask” made an appearance. Aside from a few emotional responses to people telling me I had makeup smudged on my face, I had to chose to not let this steal my joy.
All the way through pregnancy I made choice after choice to embrace this ever-changing body of mine. Then finally I had this perfectly healthy, gorgeous baby girl. And immediately it all became worth it the moment I laid eyes on my gorgeous baby girl.
I had to have a c-section due to complications. I gave myself grace, realizing this recovery process would be different than I had planned and that was ok. But when nursing wasn’t shrinking my stomach any more and I had an overhang of skin at six months postpartum, reality began to sink in. My body had changed and it definitely wasn’t going back to normal. I would feel ok, then see myself in pictures and freak out. I just couldn’t believe that was me.
Trying on clothes, for the first time in my life, became something that could actually throw me into a serious slump. I even went all-out one day; I tried on all my clothes and set aside anything that no longer fit. I wasn’t trying to torture myself, but rather preventing myself from future meltdowns.
New Perspective
Honestly, the hardest part for me was not that my body had changed. It really was’t about the way it looked at all. At the heart of the matter, it was just hard for me to be struggling so much with something I know changes nothing. I had to sink into the fact that the appearance my body wasn’t the be-all-end-all of life. And that gave me a fresh perspective.
The changes in my body didn’t change who God has called me to be. It didn’t change the way my husband or the important people in my life saw me. It definitely had no affect on my daughter, because she certainly doesn’t care. It didn’t change my heart, or the way it has a tendency to spill out to those around me. It didn’t change my value as a woman. It didn’t change the fact that I am beautiful, through and through.
Yes my body changed, but it didn’t change ME. In my mind, I’m just babylicious.
Now that I’ve conquered the way I see myself, and the way I feel about the changes in my body, I’m ready to start pursuing change that I can control. I just wanted to make sure I had the right mindset first. I want to work to change my body because I love it and it is a dwelling place for God. What lasting change would come if disgust were my motivation? None that I want. I want to fight to change my body through healthy eating strategies and an active lifestyle. I want to pursue strength & vitality, not a number on the scale. Because it’s possible to have a healthy self image, to love what you see (imperfections and all) but still see areas you would like to improve.
Most importantly, my little is watching! And there is no perfect body worth attaining, if it means tainting the example I am setting for her.
I’ll end with my version of this tune, as I throw my hands in the air and do a little hip shake: “I dont think your ready, for this jelly…I don’t think you’re ready for this…’Cuz my body’s too BABYlicious for ya, babe!”
If you’ve got more than Beyonce (and Lord knows I do) then that’s something to be proud of, mama. You are babylicious, and you should ROCK IT!
Guest Post By: Charlie Paige
