How To Get Your Spouse To Support Your Health Journey

Weight loss support… The truth is, when you’re struggling through a weight loss journey, you really don’t want to sit with someone whose plate is covered in cheesy pizza, knowing you can’t have any.

And I get it! You’re not the one who chose to embark on this crazy pursuit of dropping pounds and adding multiple servings of veggies to your daily intake. If you wanted to worry about what you ate, you’d be the one on a diet. But you’re not. So you don’t have to give it so much as a second thought. Right?

Well. Not really, if the one you love dearly is putting her best foot forward and trying her darndest to shed a few pounds. Is “darndest” a word? Anyway…

Let me clue you in a little. Because this post is not for the person who’s trying to lose weight. It’s for the person married to the person trying to lose weight. (or dating, or best friends with, or whatever…). But fret not! You can keep reading! These words are not to slap your wrist and make you promise to eat all the things your partner is eating. No no. I wouldn’t do that to you. Rather, I want to help you. I’ve put together a few pointers that can help you not to sabotage your spouse. Because after all, I know how badly you want her to succeed when she’s working so hard to accomplish something that matters to her!

So for starters:

1. Take “no” for an answer

Indulging in a piece of cheese cake once the kids go to bed? Offering to grab your wife a slice? Most likely it took all the willpower in the whole wide world for her to respond with “no thank you.” If you ask her again, she might cave. Now, if she does, that may actually make you feel awesome, because who doesn’t love eating junk food with the one they love?! We all do. But for this one time, she’s refraining because she would rather “splurge” on something yummy, later. Right now, she has the strength to decline the offer. But don’t ask her again.

2. Eat your yummy food while you’re out of her presence

Now if you know me, you know there isn’t a single piece of information that I would ever withhold from my hubby. We’re besties for the restie and I tell him literally everything. But he’s been know to grab a yummy treat on his lunch break a time or two, and honestly – I’d rather him not even tell me about it! If he comes home and describes the gigantic cheeseburger and order of fries he ate for lunch, that paints a picture of that yummy food in my brain, and then I want some. If I never know about it, then I don’t think to miss it. DON’T keep secrets from your spouse. Ever. But there’s no reason to brag about the awesomely delicious unhealthy meal you gorged on for lunch today. Seriously, don’t even tell her about it.

3. Honor her by refraining every now and then

I know, I know. I told you I wouldn’t make you restrict yourself to diet food. But if you can do this from time to time, it’s definitely an added bonus. If you can stomach eating a big delicious salad for dinner one night so that she’s not the only one eating a healthy meal, then go for it! It will make her feel supported in her efforts and it will make it WAY easier for her to stick to her plan for healthy eating.

4. Put yourself in her shoes

If you’re at a favorite family diner for a Friday night dinner and you decide to order the world’s largest banana split for the family to enjoy after dinner, keep your girl in mind. Seriously, if she’s really working hard at this whole eating-healthy thing, it is going to be really difficult for her to just sit there and watch the family eat that decadent desert when she’s trying to refrain. There will be times she feels like she can loosen up on her eating a little. Times she will indulge in the yummy desert. Times she goes for the big bowl of cheesy pasta. But if she’s choosing not to right now, then try to put yourself in her shoes. See through her eyes. Imagine what it feels like to watch you eat something she really wants. Know that in that very moment, she wants both. She wants the yummy ice cream, but she also wants to reach her health goals. And in that moment, there’s a battle going on in her mind as to which one will win. 

5. Give her time

Time to get out and exercise. Time to meal prep. Time to decompress a little. Time to make her own breakfast in the craziness of the morning routine. A lot of times mommies end up neglecting their own health and wellbeing because they’re so busy caring for their families – which of course they love to do. But in order to reach health goals, there will be times you’re wife is forced to make time for herself. So offering to take the kids while she goes for a walk around the neighborhood or heads to the gym, is a HUGE help. Added bonus if you do it without letting her know how crazy stressful the kids were while she was gone. 😉

6. Give her grace

Don’t call her out every time she has a cheat meal. Reaching health goals means finding balance and making progress. She’s working really hard during this season of her life. She’s trying her best to make right decisions, over and over again, all through the day, every day, for weeks, months, or even years! The girl is bound to choose something other than zucchini and baked chicken now and then. When she does, let her enjoy it without shame. After all, she’s turned down a LOT of yummy stuff she actually wanted along the way. We all need some yummies in the mix.

7. Extend Empathy

There will be times she feels discouraged. Times when she looks in the mirror and can’t understand why her progress isn’t faster. Times when the number on the scale pierces her soul. Times when she loathes having to eat healthy when it feels like the whole world is eating regular food. When she’s running low on steam, show her empathy. Validate her feelings. Let her have a moment to sort out all the thoughts. I know you don’t like seeing her like that, but give her some time. Once she gets through that, she’ll be ready to take on the world again.

8. Encourage her to keep going (without making her feel like you’re pressuring her)

So how do you encourage your wife to keep going without making her feel pressured? By noticing her efforts and praising them out loud. So instead of saying something like “babe, you wanted to lose 20 pounds, why are you eating pizza? Go make a salad and then go for a walk!”– try something like “babe, you’re eating a salad for lunch again? You’re seriously going to turn into a salad.” or “wow babe, you work out a lot! You just keep getting stronger and stronger…” Don’t just push her when she’s not doing what you think she should, notice her efforts, and call them out! A LOT!

9. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what her body looks like

This is huge. Because a lot of times when we see someone losing weight or making progress in their health or fitness, we shower them with compliments. Which is AWESOME! But sometimes, we can feel pressure to maintain a certain physique in order to keep the approval of the people around us. One of the greatest and most motivational things you can do as a husband is to let your wife know that you think she is so sexy no matter her size. How do you do this? By telling her. Over and over again. Keep the compliments coming. Just be sure not to present it like she’s “looking so good now” or “finally losing that weight.” I promise, you’ll be really happy with your wife’s response to you telling her she looks good no matter what size she is… 😉

Well, there you have it! I told you it wouldn’t be too hard! Just a little gentle guidance to help you help your wifey on her health journey.