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Body Positive Weight Loss
Looking at my before-and-after snapshot, you could make the assumption that I simply made a change, started eating salads, incorporated exercise, and voila! Skinny! But a 10+years and 160 lost-pounds later, there’s a whole lot more to it than that!
But no.
There have been so many layers, and years, and ups, and downs, and highs, and lows, and victories, and defeats, that have led to where I am today. Not to mention, the perfect clothes and camera angles that hide the fluff.
Am I skinny now? Well, who’s to say? I’ve never met the supposed person who gets the final say-so on what would classify a person”skinny”. For all I know, no such person exists.
In my mind I’m a healthy, strong, average, size 8 to 10’ish mommy of two who can’t be bothered to live up to any else’s body standard.
I used to be 336 pounds. That in itself is a smack-in-the-face reminder of why I should be thankful for exactly where I am and what my body is like, today. But I have to say, there’s a little part of me that still struggles with being on this side (or should I say, the middle…) of the weight loss bandwagon.
Who decides, anyway?
To be completely honest, sometimes I can’t believe that I still look in the mirror and see flaws. Or that I am still a curvy girl, despite having lost half my body weight. And if you want me to get really raw, I’ll tell you. While I keep the right perspective on things almost always, there are still really intense times where I feel like I need to justify (to myself mostly) why I’m not smaller than I am.
People who don’t know I’ve lost a ton of weight, see me as a regular, average person. Fairly neutral, maybe slightly toward the “fit” side of things. They don’t have a clue that I’ve struggled with my weight for my entire life, and that I used to be twice the size I am now.
But weirdly enough I struggle with this so-called “imposture syndrome.” I still have a constantly running dialogue about my weight. Every single day. Whether with my husband, or my friends, or with… well… myself.
Two sides to every story…
So here I find myself. Sixteen years after the start of my weight loss story. A health and fitness blogger. A healthy eater. An everyday exerciser. Unquenchably passionate about journeying toward the healthiest version of myself, while also extending that passion to anyone and everyone who also struggles with their weight.
But yet. There are two sides of the weight story that I constantly juggle between when it comes to spreading inspiration and sharing my story.
The Body Positive Side Of Weight Loss
It took me a LOT of years, but eventually I learned that no matter what, I wasn’t going to be happy when I looked in the mirror unless I finally chose to be.
I was really surprised when I realized that I had lost a whopping 160 pounds and had been every size from 6 to 28 and was still unhappy in my own skin. Massive weight loss led to excess skin that doesn’t go away with drinking lots of water, or eating your veggies, or exercising. Trust me. I do all of those. Consistently. Still my body is covered with extra skin, which can be discouraging given the immense amount of work it took to lose the weight.
But even aside from the skin. I realized that I was on this constant search for how to get smaller. I had reached my very lowest weight by practically starving myself. Up until then I had done my weight loss in a balanced, gradual way. I don’t know how I got off the path enough to slip into basically eating air.
When I realized that those final pounds lost were not worth living like a rabbit, I returned to old faithful: the balanced approach that actually worked.
By then, though, my body had been through so much. So, on crept some pounds that led to a healthy, “normal” weight for myself.
I should have just been happy to find a “sweet spot” in my weight. The place my body felt comfortable and healthy. But instead, I kept striving to lose more weight! What I learned about myself? That my body was happy where it was (and is now). I can get smaller, but I have to be extremely strict in my eating, and I have to eat that way 100% of the time. Not exaggerating.
The Healthy Weight Loss Side
But then there’s this piece of me that can’t not extend a helping hand to those who struggle with their weight in the same ways that I have struggled. Here I am looking in the mirror and seeing a size-10 person and criticizing herself while tons of people are reaching out to me and asking the prime question:
“Hooowwwww???? How do I do it, Jen?! How did you do it? How do I lose this weight??”
When I hear that question, I get this feeling in my gut that brings me right out of my self-loathing attitude and right back into reality. And in that very moment, I my heart aches to help.
Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
In my mind. You can’t have one without the other.
I mean. You can. But if you do, you’re going to get out of balance.
If there’s one thing I have learned in this massive weight loss journey of mine, it’s that the appearance of your body is not the determining factor of your worth. It’s just not.
Could I get smaller than I am right now? Sure. But am I the healthiest I’ve ever been? Absolutely.
The goal is not to get as skinny as possible. There was a short detour in which I became confused about that. I started focusing on just getting the scale as low as possible.
But then I realized how many times my kids would have to watch me skip the cake at their birthday parties. Or how many get-togethers I’d have to miss because I’d have to stay away from the “bad” food. Or how strict I would have to be with myself 24/7 just to keep off an extra ten pounds or so.
How To Take A Body Positive Approach To Weight Loss
Being body positive simply means taking a positive approach in how you view your body. Right now, today. Even without changing anything or losing weight.
To get to that point you have to shift your perspective a bit. You have to dig deep and ask yourself to determine your WHY. Why do you want to lose weight? No really, what’s the reason? Because if the reason is simply that you want to be skinny or look “good” in a bikini (quotes because you already DO look good in a bikini, you just may not see it yet), then that is not going to sustain you when the going gets rough.
Instead of focusing solely on dropping pounds. Learn to focus on getting healthier. Making small changes. Substituting some of the foods you love for healthier options. Learning to move your body more. Drinking more water. Choosing veggies over fries here and there.
When we truly shift the focus to becoming healthy, the final destination doesn’t seem so far off. Because here’s the thing. There is no stopping point.
Most weight-loss methods are just diets. They’re quick ways to drop some weight. But the problem is that the changes they encourage are not actually sustainable over time. The most successful weight loss transformations happen when habits are formed, and that only happens by making doable changes that you can keep on doing.
Eating carrots and broccoli with baked chicken every night for dinner, will get old after a while. But if you can instead learn how to construct your meals in a way that allows you to eat what you actually want to eat, then the possibilities are endless. The goal then becomes simply making those yummy foods a little healthier by using better quality foods like healthier fats or healthier carbs.
It’s All A Mindset Shift
I’ve done them all. Every crash diet you can think of. I’ve tried every quick fix. I’ve eaten like a rabbit for months at a time. I’ve tried every new and amazing thing that came my way, in hopes of losing a little more, a little more.
And guess what. They all failed.
The ONLY shift in which I have found (massive) success, is by learning to love myself enough to care for my body in a way that is balanced, healthy, and sustainable.
Take The Pressure Off
Stop looking at every perfectly posed, perfectly edited, perfectly styled photo you see lining the walls of the world around you. Just focus on being the healthiest version of YOU. Focus on feeling better. Having more energy. Combatting disease. Things like that.
Maybe Suzie Quezie on Instagram is meant to be a size zero. Or a body builder. Or have no cellulite on her body. Or whatEVER, AND THAT’S OK! You don’t need to live up to any else’s body type or expectation of how your body should be.
Put your blinders on. Focus on your own health. And live your best life while loving your body and your self.
Body Positive Weight Loss
