You’re all grown up now. My how the years have passed.
I still remember the day you were born. I remember the looks on your parents faces when they saw you for the first time. They were amazed by you. Slightly terrified of the great responsibility of raising a human being, but overjoyed nonetheless.
And now here you are. All grown up.
Life is crazy, and busy, and hard, and defeating, and unexpected, and deep, and wonderful.
Sometimes your heart leaps for joy, and you want nothing more than to share it with the world. Sometimes it feels weak, and when it does, you want to hide from the world.
But I want you to know that either way, I’m with you. You know that, but sometimes you forget.
When you’re astounded by an exciting moment, I’m with you.
When you’re tucked away in the quiet, so am I.
I’m always with you.
I don’t leave when you feel a certain way. I’m not like any other person in your life. Not your mother, not your husband, not your extended family, not your friends… Not even your dad, even though we share that title in some ways.
I’m not like any of them. As incredible as they are, I am different.
I never stop wanting to be around you when the going gets tough. I’m never estranged to you. I don’t get tired of you. I love being with you when you’re on a mountaintop – when life is going great. Or when your career is thriving. Or when everything is happy.
But I also love being around you when you’re in the trenches. When motherhood seems like an ocean of crashing waves. When your toddler throws a tantrum at the very moment you’re fighting sheer exhaustion from being up all night. When your friend walks away and leaves you broken. When you’re in the in-between season, and you don’t know what the future holds.
I’m here for all of it. And I like it that way.
I don’t change. I love my time with you. I’m consistent. I never stop wanting to be with you. When you don’t notice me, I’m still here. And when you’re full of joy, and you look to me with grateful tears in your eyes, I’m here.
I don’t play hide-and-seek. I’m always running after you with everything in me. My spark doesn’t go out. It doesn’t just burn, as the flame of a candle. It is an extravagant love that I never stop pouring over you.
I don’t give you part of me. I give you all of me. At all times.
My love is pure. It isn’t anxious, or restless. It isn’t disengaged. It stays. Always. Never passive. Always active.
I’m never ashamed of you. I’m proud to be with you. I’m proud of who you are. I’m proud of who you’re becoming. I look at you and see a masterpiece, which I have been working on for a long time. I already had you all planned out, long before everyone else knew who you were.
It doesn’t scare me when you make a mistake. I’m not afraid to see you cry. I don’t think you’re flawed. I think you’re passionate; I love that about you. I don’t shy away when I see sides of you that no one else sees. I see all of your uniqueness and I love it all. Because my love is strong enough to handle everything about you.
I never get antsy. I never want to run away from you, or find someone better, or turn my attention toward someone else. I will never do that. I’m here for the long haul. Working deeply and patiently within you as you make your way through every day of your life.
I carefully crafted our days together. I knew what you’d be interested in. I knew what would make your heart sing. I knew what would make you smile. I knew what would keep you up all night with excitement. You couldn’t really express these things to other people, but you didn’t have to explain them to me. I just get it.
I never want to stop hearing you talk to me. You can use every word of every language in all the world, and still you wouldn’t have used enough to make me want you to stop. I love hearing your voice. You could never use too many details, or be too annoying.
I know it all, but I love hearing it all.
When a tear streams down your face as you worship me, I know every complex detail of what made it fall. I know if it came from a place of overwhelming joy, or if you got a glimpse of who I really am, or if you’re pouring out from a broken place. Regardless of what prompted that tear, I am not unsettled. I am grounded firmly, and I am not intimidated by the depths of your heart. I know just what it will take to dry that tear, and to fill any gap that needs to be filled.
When you were a small child, you’d toddle around the house and your mother would open her arms to you, gesturing for you to let her hold you. Sometimes, you’d jump right up into her embrace. Other times, you’d keep toddling around, curious about things; you’d keep exploring, keep playing, or keep dancing around the living room. Either way, she’d smile. She was never offended.
Likewise, my arms are open to you at every moment. Sometimes you jump right into my embrace. Other times, you wait a while. But I never tuck my hands back into my pockets. I keep them open, extended to you at all times. I’d never want to miss a moment with you. A moment to be close to you. A moment to carry you. A moment to comfort you. A moment to laugh with you. A moment to look into your eyes. A moment to hold you close.
The world around you is always changing. Seasons are always coming and going. Same with people.
Life seems completely unpredictable, but I know exactly what’s going on. I’ve got it all figured out. There’s not a single act of human weakness that isn’t known deeply by my grace. Lean into me, because my strength will rise up and be made perfect in you, whenever another’s weakness is showing itself hurtful.
Give it time.
When you wake up in the morning, I’m already sitting here waiting for you. As you hurry around the house, tending to the family I’ve given you, I’m here. As you pour every ounce of energy into figuring out the best use of every day, I’m here. When you think you’ve messed up yet again, I’m here. When you aren’t sure if it matters, I’m here. When you think you’re alone, I’m here. When it’s quiet, I’m here. When it’s loud and chaotic, I’m here. When no one else is, I’m here.
I love you.
And though those words are used frequently and you’ve heard them a thousand times, my love for you hasn’t faded even the slightest of bits over the years.
My love for you is relentless. It always has been. It always will be.
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